I am Yukpa hashi. I am Chahta, Cherokee, English, Irish and Scots. Mitakuye Oyasin. Yaqne.

I am sitting here this evening, wanting to talk for a bit. So I have grabbed the talking stick and I am wondering if you will sit for a while with me?

In reading the newsgroup here lately, I see much diversity of personalities all heading toward one goal. How interesting it is to me to see how the newbies are finding their way to smoke freedom. And rian asked "If I had 6 months to live...." and that started me thinking today. Would I smoke again? Hummm.... No, I would not smoke again. There was also a request from someone who is getting ready to join us and wanted to know about quit tools. That's a good question to ask as we all have our ways of getting over the hard times that are sure to come when we choose smoke freedom. I think what has struck me the most is the impatience I have seen. I think I recognize the impatience so clearly because of how impatient I was back then, in the beginning of my quit. All of this is wonderful to me. I can see the value of sharing the experiences in this quitting process in the posts of those who have gained OF status and beyond. Every one who has gained that status seems to talk of how grateful they are for AS3.

I responded to ri's post but l would like to add something more to that response. I would not go back to smoking for lots of reasons really, but two of those reasons spent the day with me yesterday. I have two grandsons that I have talked about lots over the months that I have been with you. They are great guys. I was helping Spencer with his painting yesterday, leaning over him to get a closer look at the colors he wanted to use and he said to me, "Boy, Grandma, I am really glad you quit smoking. You smell like you!" That's truth. He really said that. I hugged him and told him I was very glad I had quit smoking too. But think about it.... What a statement that makes to this younger generation about smoking! He's only 7 and he already knows the difference not smoking makes, at least in terms of the nasty smell of cigarette smoke. I hope this beginning awareness will play a part in keeping him smoke free in his lifetime. I would like that very much.

It is critical when one decides to quit smoking that one arms themselves for battle. And one way to do that is with information. Information of every sort can help secure the passage from smoker to ex-smoker. I not only have my Quit List and my Tool Kit but I was also fortunate to learn from ddSteve a method that taught me how to change the dialogue that goes on in my head in this quitting process. I have changed the automatic response of reaching for a cigarette in times of stress, anger or joy (or whatever emotion caused me to reach for a smoke) to a more healthy response that sometimes is as simple as taking a deep breath. I really believe that this information is the final piece of knowledge for me and what will secure my quit for all time.

I have also been thinking about reaching that six month, 1/2 Old Fogey mark. Wow. I am simply in awe of that milestone. (I hope all of you will be ready to celebrate with me when that happens!) But why I am so impressed with getting to this place of smoke freedom is because of the struggle that I have gone through to get here. And you, my AS3 family, know that struggle well. You have either gone through it or are going through it now. What I have learned along the way is patience. *It takes time* for the body to heal. I could be embarrassed, I think, if I had the ability to go back count the number of times I asked, How much longer must I suffer? Giggle. I was not quiet about wanting the hard part to be over with. So let me say it again. *It just takes time.* I was asking my body to recover from years of nicotine abuse. That was not going to happen in a week or two, or even in a month or two. But at nearing six months smoke free, I can tell you that I am feeling great. Physically, I have not felt this good or this confident in a very long time. I do have thoughts that pass through my brain occasionally but I find them curious and wonder why they are there? They no longer trigger an emotional response. I am an ex-smoker now where smoking is not an option. It never will be again. I have chosen a way of life that spells freedom. Why would I ever go back and don the chains again? I wouldn't. Now it's onward, upward and forward to the tubs. I have no doubt I will get there.

One other thing that I have found is critical is ATTITUDE (Thank you, AnnR). Not only is it important to have an attitude that whatever it takes to gain your freedom is what you are willing to pay but I found for me, if I looked at what I was experiencing as temporary, as just a hump to get past instead of getting wound up in the emotional aspect of the moment, I survived the hard times better.

To all of you OF'ers and DOF'ers and VOF'ers.... I will never be able to express to you how much I appreciate your being here in the ng to catch us when we are falling and to applaud us when we are standing tall. Most importantly is the information that you share to keep us heading towards you and the tubs. Thank you so much.

To the Newbies, I applaud you. You are struggling valiantly. Keep on keeping on. It is so worth is all. You'll discover that for yourselves soon enough by adding time to your meter. Be patient with you and with your body. It does take time to heal. And when you reach a certain point in your recovery, you'll discover a new you that you had forgotten existed. And it's an awesome discovery too!

To my contemporaries and my quit group, the 5/25'ers.... Thanking you properly would take another post. So, I'll keep it simple and hope you know my heart.... Thank you for walking the walk with me.

Yukpa hashi -------->>>>>passing the talking stick
Pat/Laughing Moon/Gaire Solas/Yareakh Tzokheq/budette
Five months, two weeks, four days, 10 hours, 23 minutes and 57 seconds. 3428 cigarettes not smoked, saving $471.55. Life saved: 1 week, 4 days, 21 hours, 40 minutes.