I am Yukpa hashi. I am adopted Chahta, Cherokee, English, Irish and Scots. In my heritage, we are the sum of our ancestors. That is our beginning point. Where we go to from there is celebrated by the Rites of Passage. I have recently been through a Rites of Passage ceremony. My Chahta elder felt it was time I was celebrated for moving on.... for going forward in my life.

When I chose to quit smoking last May, I had no idea what that meant other than I hopefully was going to get to a place where I could breathe better again. I was so tired of being sick and tired. I know you know what I mean. I had blown a 2 1/2 year quit and now two years later, I was going to "attempt" to quit again. I am smiling at that memory from 7 1/2 months ago. Little did I know what an impact this newsgroup and the people I would meet here would have on my life and on my quit. I learned new meanings to words like ATTITUDE, new approaches to quitting like Cognitive Quitting and one of the best parts was being able to walk the walk with a whole bunch of folks that gave me more courage and optimism than I had ever experienced before. But the bottom line was, I still had to quit on my own.... go through my own Rites of Passage to earn my smoke freedom.

In my heritage, when children reach the age of 12 or so, they are celebrated. They are given a ceremony that marks their movement from childhood into adulthood. Although both males and females have their own ceremonies, they celebrate the same passage. (The males are "usually" sent off to do a Vision Quest and upon their return, a huge celebration [lots of joyful noise!!] happens. The females are nurtured and instructed on what is expected of them as adult females in the tribe. It's more quiet but nonetheless just as joyful.)

In essence, that's what I feel I am doing in my quitting, moving from childhood into adulthood. I can't remember what it was like to deal with life without a cigarette in my hand. I can't remember facing a stress or a joy without lighting up.... that is, until now. Since I have made the decision to quit, I have had to learn new ways of dealing with what life hands me. At first, I was confused and pretty sure, I didn't want to do this. It was almost too hard. It was cold sometimes and too stark a reality. I cried a lot and I am still going through quit depression, but slowly and just as surely, over the months, I have come to realize how *real* life is. (And I MUCH prefer my new existence!) And how much I had missed by my smoking it away. Then I got mad at myself too. I felt I had cheated myself by hiding away for so long. But then I came to realize that that's not it and getting mad myself was counterproductive. My growth....that's it. That's what my quitting smoking is affording me. Learning how to handle life straight up.... and that's growth.... big time.

The Rites of Passage ceremony includes a quiet journey, a period of time for reflection on what you are leaving behind and what you are heading towards. It is also a time for planning for my new way of being. I made up a new personal bundle that will hold all of my new beginnings in it. I tied up my old bundle with those things from my old way of doing things. The old bundle will be given away; the new bundle is hanging around my neck as my reminder.... of my growth. The final part to the ceremony is a celebration, of dancing and drumming and using my rattle to make lots of noise. It is a wonderful way to move into a new space and to recognize those who chose to be different than how they always have been in the past.

Quitting smoking is hard work. It takes a conscious choice to make it happen. It means honoring your decision, *no matter what*. It means using ATTITUDE and courage. It means learning new information that can be found here in AS3 and adding it to my Tool Kit and then using that information to secure my choice of smoke freedom. It means choosing a new way of being. The Rites of Passage is like this learning to live without nicotine. In the end, when I splash into the Bud Ellis Memorial Hot Tubs (and don't you doubt that I will get there 'cause I surely will), I'll be bringing my drum and my rattles and my dancing music 'cause I'm gonna be celebrating my year long Rites of Passage to a new way of being.

You all gonna join me? Aho.

Yukpa hashi ------->>>>>> passing the talking stick
Laughing Moon/Pat/Gaire Solas/Yareakh Tzokheq/budette

Seven months, two weeks, two days, 12 minutes and 31 seconds. 4600 cigarettes not smoked, saving $763.77. Life saved: 2 weeks, 1 day, 23 hours, 20 minutes.