I'd like to pick up the talkingstick.... There is soooo much joy happening for me right now. And I had some thoughts about reaching this place where I am on the smoke-freedom path. I'd like to share both with you.... smile.

As we watch the 2nd Gen'ers get REAL excited about their upcoming splash (HUGE smile), Selma, my quit sister, and I have been remembering what it was like for us as we neared our own splash a year ago.

I am part of a quit family.... the 5/25'ers. My Sister Selma and the guys have been there with me from the beginning. We love one another, for sure. We're family. We've also kept one another from smoking at times. (I think that's the power of a quit group. You bolster one another up in the weaker moments. It really worked for us.) Both Selma and I went through a tough 11th month. (The guys did great, of course... go figure. giggle.)

I don't know why it was that my body all of a sudden decided to question whether or not I was 'dead' (appropriate word, don't you think?) serious I wanted to remain smoke-free?.... which is what both Selma and I experienced. Well, it was *very* disheartening to get that far and then feel like the bottom had fallen out from underneath me again.

And on came the tears, of course. Oh gawd.... I don't know how much you guys know about me but I started crying on Day 3 of my quit. And I thought the tears were *never* gonna quit. I was miserable. (I complained a lot too to those who would listen here in AS3.... which was just about everybody! What a great place AS3 is.) During this time of my 11 month blues, I learned a few things.

I remembered that when I am most tearful, I am usually overly tired. That was easy to solve with getting a better night's sleep. In any case, I had to try and find out what the cause was and then I could fix it. But sometimes I have tears and I haven't a clue as to why.... even now. Especially during this time, I try to pay closer attention to *me*.

Another reason why the tears could be that I had forgotten lately to take a time out for me. I was almost one year smoke free. At that point in my quit, I finally decided I had every reason to pamper myself during this 11th month as I did in the first. I might have to whittle down a little bit of my workload but then I could go for a nice long walk. Spring is sooooo gorgeous.... and I wouldn't come back until I was ready to be back in that busy space again!

I discovered other things that would ease me.... Like a nice long shower and then early to bed with a great book.... that type of thing. I unplug the phones and turn off the puter. *No* interference is allowed. And then I crawl right into the middle of that space and enjoy myself. I don't allow 'I should be doing' to cross my thinking. Smile. I know I sometimes force myself to live an impossible schedule. I think I 'should' be able to do all that needs to get done and in a short period of time. Well.... I finally realized how I was sabotaging myself (being tired was one of the key smoking triggers for me) and setting myself up to fail. I finally had to go through my list, prioritize it and get realistic about what 'needs' to get done. The rest went on a 2nd page titled, If I get a spare moment with nothing to do.... You know what? I couldn't believe how many 'To Do's went on the second list.

Gratefully, this (1 yr.,) 11 month milestone has been joyous. I feel terrific. I continue to deal with some problems that surfaced when I quit smoking.... But I am smoke-free and I consider those problems a small price, especially when the grandsons come to stay. Smile. (Gettin' closer to a big celebration, guys!)

And thanks especially to my 5/25'ers for being there. 2 years.... who'd of thunk it, huh? Big, *big* Smile.
In countdown mode,
Pat
One year, eleven months, two weeks, three days, 9 hours, 20 minutes and 50 seconds. 14367 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,356.32. Life saved: 7 weeks, 21 hours, 15 minutes.
www.talkingstick.net