So my quit buddy, Selma, beat me to it, she already let you know we made it a week! But this isn't about Selma or Mark (as much as I adore them) or about those of you who quit around the same time as me and have also been wonderful quit mates but this is about me and how proud I am that I have made it this far without crashing and burning and smoking or drowning in my own tears. (I don't think I have ever cried as much as I have cried this week.) I know all of this emotional stuff will go away in time. I know the cravings will slow down and that my chest won't hurt quite so much in just a little while. I know the people I have met in this newsgroup have become very important to me and that as we put in our time together, continuing to support one another's quit, I can feel a combined strength in our numbers and in our resolve. And this after only a week! Wow.

I met with a Paiute medicine man this morning. I was very surprised to see that he smoked. We sat together for three hours discussing tribal traditions and ceremonies. He lit up a cigarette and I waited for the smell to hit me and for the deep breath I knew I would take and for the longing to share one with him to happen. None of that did. (He had told me he wouldn't let the smoke hurt me or overwhelm me. It was very interesting how it truly didn't. How does one person smoke in a converted bus (where I was meeting with him) and the other not smell smoke? Hummm.... A bit of magic maybe.) But the point is that it would have been so easy to bum a cigarette. I will own up that the thought did cross my mind and then the thought kept right on traveling until it had passed through and was gone. No smoking here. The reason why I am sharing this with you is to show why I think I have reason to be proud of me. I have had the opportunity to bum a cigarette (not buy a whole pack which would be out of the question entirely) many times in this past week and have been able to stay within my decision to remain smoke-free and to learn to live life without cigarettes. And in reading the other posts, this story of bumming just one cig....is repeated over and over. Such courage we all display...wow...

I can not begin to tell you where my courage comes from. I can not begin to tell you how I have resolved within myself that smoke-free is how I have chosen to live my life. And I can not begin to describe the internal feeling of bubbly joy that rumbles to the surface and is expressed in this silly grin that's written all over my face when I have faced a challenged and passed with such flying colors. I just know that's how it is with me.

Thank you, too -- all of you who have listened, posted back, e-mailed me, talked with me on ICQ (and you know who you are....smiles and hugs), you have made an incredible difference in my life. Thank you. And here's to the next week's worth of success being a bit easier, eh? Say, I think I deserve it. I've run out of tissues and don't want to go to the store!

Pat
1 week, 2 hours, 7 min, 52 sec, 141 cigs not smoked, $19.49 saved and life saved--11hrs, 45 min..... and I plan on spending those hours saved hugging my grandsons!