I am nearing 48 hours now. I had another very bad night. I ended up taking some Valerian root at about 2 AM. Oh, I thought, I'll be able to sleep now but I probably only slept for about 4 hours. I don't understand why I am unable to sleep at night. And I agree that sleep better equips us to handle the stress of not smoking.....no sleep.....not good handler.... oh dear. Well, that caused me to giggle here so I haven't completely lost my sense of humor yet. Believe me, you DO NOT want me to lose my sense of humor..... oh my!

I have been thinking about exercising. Walking. I just read the post by Dan who was getting out his bicycle and he sort of inspired me. But it's not that I am not aware of the need to exercise (it's another good way to handle the stress as well as the weight gain) but, you know what, it snowed here yesterday! It's cold outside. Whine, whine, whine..... I can see all of you shaking your heads.... Do all newbies go through sort of a typical pattern? I mean, do we all get good at spouting excuse after excuse, etc.? I think I'm damn good at finding excuses!

I am part Cherokee and adopted Chahta (Choctaw). In my heritage, we believe it's in the doing. I am an Elder and figure I have earned my right to sit at the fireside and let the younger ones do the work now. But then I get this look from one of those Elders senior to me---you know the look.....Raised eyebrows with a slight question mark in the eyes--- and I get up and get to doing what needs to be done. It's in the doing. That's where survival for me will be found. That's where the awareness is that holds the information on how to survive will be found. However I get it done, it's in the doing of it that I know I will be successful. That belief is why I know that I will become smoke-free in a good way. So I probably will get out the dusty tenny runners.....

I also have been cautioned in here about self-fulfilling prophecies. I paid attention and you are sooooo right. What happened to me before is not necessarily what I can expect this time. In fact, what I believe is that we create our future in the present moment. I have no desires to get into a philosophical discussion on belief systems but I wanted you to know I heard you. And I agree.

Now, I am going to go watch the rest of Jack Nicholson in "As Good As It Gets". I have rented some movies for distraction. I can sew and watch movies and NOT smoke. Yippee! Hear my giggle out there...

I'm doing better today, eh?

NewladyPat
1day,17hours,39minutes,50seconds, and 34 not smoked!