I am Yukpa hashi. I am Chahta, Cherokee, English, Irish and a proud Scot! (smile) Yaqne.

I am going to hit another milestone today and that has me thinking a lot....

The last two weeks for me have been "educational". (I think that puts it nicely but blue words are probably more accurately descriptive.) There was a short period when I was in the middle of this last bout of depression that all I could do was read the newsgroup. I did not have it in me to reach out and participate. (I am NOT a shining example in this one respect. But there it is. I am really proud of Nina for reaching out to the ng when she needed help.) I read a couple of posts during this time that I filed away because at some point I wanted to respond to them. With me reaching this milestone today, it seems now is the time for me to share my points of view.

I think all of you are aware of my opinion regarding quitting smoking and how I choose to do that. But just in case there are those who are reading me for the first time or to refresh memories, my view is that I get to design my own way to quit smoking and then it is up to me to do whatever it takes to implement that design to stay quit. It's a choice I make to learn to live without nicotine and it's a choice I make to hold fast to that decision. I call it "honoring myself".

One of the ways I have learned about quitting smoking is by reading posts in the newsgroup that share what works or has worked for various poster's quits. I can't remember how many times when I was lurking in this ng before I quit and, more importantly, how many times after I quit, where I would read someone's post about how they were handling their quit and I would find another tool -- another piece of information -- for me to add to my arsenal that I would be able to use to stay committed to my decision to remain smoke-free. Well, there was a post here recently that warned against
"idealogues" (sic). Hummm.... Well, that had me thinking about posting my opinions, which I have a tendency to do a lot of! (You guys tired of me yet? Rhetorical question now....careful. Giggle.) I know the meaning of the word "ideologues". But I would hope that this newsgroup is big enough to hold ALL opinions on what is working for someone in our common struggle. One never knows where that piece of information is going to come from that will hold the key, that bit of information that makes total sense, that will help secure our quit for all time. So, I welcome everyone's opinion about what is working for them, whatever it is. I am always looking for something to add to my tool kit and every bit of information helps. (Maybe it is time to start a thread again where we share what we are doing to remain
smoke-free?)

The second opinion of mine that I'd like to share is probably not a popular one but I am going to state it anyway. Again, I am speaking of *my experience only*. My last long term quit was for 2 1/2 years that I blew a couple of years ago. During that quit, I had the attitude of "eating whatever I wanted as long as I didn't smoke." I gained 40 pounds with that attitude. With this quit I have looked at "stuffing my face with food versus stuffing it with a cigarette" in a different way. I do not adhere to the philosophy of eating everything in sight and worrying about it later. For me, later was 40 pounds heavier and a blown quit because I couldn't stand looking at me anymore. I have spoken before of ddSteve's techniques found in a "A Different Quit" and their being the key to my quit. In learning about what "triggered" my smoking habits, I realized that there were similar patterns to my eating habits. Giving into the urges to eat whenever I want is dangerous thinking for me because the weight goes on quickly but doesn't come off without a great struggle. The point, then, was to change the feelings and attitudes
about my eating just as I had done with my quitting smoking (Actually, there is a great deal in common so it is not like doing double the "homework", you know?). In thinking about that blown quit from a couple of years ago, and I think I have mentioned this before, that whole time I was quit, I was simply a smoker who wasn't smoking. I had not changed my thoughts and feelings about smoking. Well, in this quit, I have changed my attitude (those thoughts and feelings). And in employing my strategy for quitting smoking to that of eating, I am finding that I am able to maintain my weight pretty well. (I also walk, as you know. I credit this addition with helping me in a couple of ways -- increased metabolism and increased
endorphins, which in turn helps me maintain my weight, relieves my stress and I feel better.) (My doc, btw, was really impressed when I was at his office here recently -- to have the depression checked out, eh? He was with me through the last quit and the 40 pound weight gain. He MUCH prefers what I am doing in this quit. Smile. Me too.) So the bottom line is that I found I couldn't substitute eating for not smoking. That is dangerous
thinking for me and one of my quit destroyers.

And now, a drum roll, please..... (LOUD drumming noise) All 5/25'ers front and center!!!

3 months, 0 weeks, 0 days, 0 minutes, 15 seconds, 1840 cigarettes not smoked, saving $253.00. Life saved: 6 days, 9 hours, 20 minutes.

We did it! We made it three months! Selma, Franz, Harry, Map, Mark and me.... I am so proud of us! I can't tell you how important it has been for me to have you in my life to share all of this with. Thank you my friends. Selma, group hug time, eh? Big Smile. ((((((((((((5/25'ers))))))))))

And before I get the "Be Careful of the Threes" warnings, I am not afraid. I do not live in fear of an urge overwhelming my conviction. I won't loose this pretty meter now. That does not mean I will not remain vigilant,
keeping my "Quit List" nearby to read if I need to. That does not mean that I will not maintain my awareness. And that does not mean that I won't continue to use the techniques that I have used all along in learning to live without nicotine. What that does mean though is that I plan on experiencing this month just as I have the first three months, to the fullest! This journey has opened my eyes to an existence that I had forgotten was available to me. I am reclaiming my life. And I've got three months down and the rest of my life to go! Yippee!!!!

5/25'ers, who's all invited to the party? Well, open the doors and let all
of our friends in. Someone get the music going, OK? And Tony, oh Tony, where's the malt???? Pour me a drink, will ya? Salute!

Yukpa hashi ------------>>>>>>>>>passing the talking stick
Pat/Laughing Moon/Gaire Solas/Yareakh Tzokheq/budette