I am Yukpa hashi. Mitakuye Oyasin. Yaqne.

I think I reached some sort of milestone today but I am not sure how I am to feel about it. Here's my meter. After viewing it, I think you will know what I am talking about:

Three months, three weeks, three days, 3 hours, 32 minutes and 31 seconds. 2323 cigarettes not smoked, saving $319.44. Life saved: 1 week, 1 day, 1 hour, 35 minutes.

That is a whole lot of threes. When I saw that meter, I about shut down the puter and walked away. I thought, I'm in trouble. I have heard the warnings about what to "expect" when a quitter gets to this place and OK, here I am. I'm waiting. You threes, give it your best shot!

I woke up this morning knowing that the meter was going to hit all of these threes today. (I quit mid-day so I get to be around when all of the milestones hit. I *should* say that I planned it that way but the truth is I ran out of cigarettes at that time and I refused to go buy anymore. Smile.) So I woke up today in anticipation. I haven't had a good tantrum in quite a while and well, I was thinking this is gonna be fun! I'm waiting and waiting.

I am chairperson of a National Speakers Committee for our quilt guild. I have made arrangements to bring this national speaker in and it's going to cost the guild a pretty penny. And not only that, I'm going to be with my tribe that weekend and not anywhere around to make sure she gets to the classes and dinners and what not. I'm prepared. I got my three's. I'm just waiting for one of my committee members to speak up her displeasure that I'm costing the guild too much money and besides that, I'm not going to be around?? But damn! They were nice, wished me a good weekend and assured me they would handle everything. What? You aren't going to get into a hollering match with me? Didn't they know I had all of these threes and I wanted so bad to use them as an excuse to holler? I'm waiting and waiting....

My best friend, Patti, was in town today and she knows me very well. She also won't take any shit from me so I'm thinking, I know just what buttons to push and I'll get her to take me on. <VEG> Well, she was too damn mellow! She just wanted a nice Chinese dinner and a little conversation. This ain't right. These three's are supposed to be causing me grief. How come it's just not happening that way today? Well, I stopped waiting....for the other shoe to drop because it just wasn't going to happen this day. I had prepared for this day full of three's (as I prepare for every day I choose to remain smoke-free) since I quit all those days and weeks and months ago.

I very much wanted to share my picture of this day with all of you. I have a philosophy of life that goes a bit like this: If you expect the worst, that's what you get. I have seen others post a very similar statement. And I believe it to be true. I think I stated on my three month milestone post, don't send me any warnings about the three's; I would handle this day exactly how I have handled all of my quit, with the knowledge that I have learned and used to get me to where I am....three months, three weeks, three days... smoke free!

When I woke up with this smile on my face today, I knew that I was going to experience this milestone in a good way. I wanted all of you to know it can be done. I refuse to live in fear that some urge is going to so overwhelm my efforts to remain nicotine free or to sneak up on me unawares. That can't happen. I will just continue to use my ATTITUDE and my Tool Kit (and my Quit List and my Quit Gratitude/Benefit Journal) to get me to the next day, the next week, the next month, the next year to forever. That's my commitment that I have made to myself. And I am going to continue to honor it.

To you, my AS3 family, thanks for your help in getting me here.

Yukpa hashi ---------->>>>>>>>>passing the talking stick
Pat/Laughing Moon/Gaire Solas/Yareakh Tzokheq/budette