I am Yukpa hashi. I am adopted Chahta plus more. My Chahta Elder, Tu Bears, told me something the other day that has me thinking tonight. So, taking the talking stick back from Mel, I'd like to sit for a spell with all of you and share what I thought of as a bit of wisdom from my Elder.

First though, I need to take a Chahta side trip. I would like to approach this and get it out of the way, once and for all time. One of my very good friends from this newsgroup reminded me the other day (and he was not the first to do so) that the jokes that I post are actually not thought of as "appropriate" posts in this newsgroup. (He was *not* telling me to not post the jokes, btw. In fact, he felt strongly that I should continue to post them.) Well, there are different schools of thought about posting jokes but let me say straight up, to all of you, I post the jokes simply because laughter is healing. And what I am doing here, in this recovery process from my nicotine addiction, is healing. I am just sharing one of my Quit Tools with all of you.

When I first started my quit, I couldn't seem to dry the tears before a new round of tears would start. I didn't think I would/could ever shut off the water works! The only way that I was able to bring myself out of that was by using laughter. Soon, I started sharing some of the jokes I would find in the many jokelists that I subscribed to with the newsgroup. It has since developed into near daily postings. I know the jokes are maybe not thought of as appropriate postings but I also know how healing laughter is. My friend reminded me that you could killfile me if you didn't like my jokes but for those of you who get distracted for the moments you spend reading and giggling with me.... the true benefit is that endorphins are being released with the laughter and those make us feel ever so much better. I know that when I am laughing so hard that I can't catch my breath, when I do get myself under control, I am left with a smile on my face. It really works for me. I hope it works for you too.

So, I am going to continue to share this part of my Tool Kit with you. I know it might be inappropriate, but well.... my mom would tell you I am infamous in that department. Grin.

My Elder, Tu Bears, met with me and a small group of folks last Saturday. It was a good group of folks too and we had a wonderful several hours together. Without going into the whole story of the day, the bottom line was that she sent us away with some words of wisdom that when she said them, stopped me cold. She told us to "Go be it." Go be it. Hummm....

I think what this means to me is similar to a tool that I have used in my quit. (I sometimes feel like I'm repeating myself, and this is one of those times, so forgive if you've already heard some of this before. Ok?) I think I could be a great whiner. I was one of those that could get it going and rant on for pages. (Oh dear.... You DO NOT want to contact any of my support group to find out if this is true. Trust me on this. They do not have fond memories of this period in my quit. I am giggling here at the memory.) I was nothing short of very verbose in those early months. In the middle of one particular bad patch, where I was feeling really out of touch with me, I made contact with my quit coach and immediately started ranting away almost before he had a chance to say hello. Steve let me go on and on and on and when I paused to take a breath, he asked me, So what? So what? Excuse me? (Talk about a bucket of cold water.) That struck me like Tu Bear's, "Go be it." Short, to the point and powerful statements, both of them.

The point is.... Once I had made the choice for smoke freedom last May 25th, I had to also decide what I was willing to pay -- put up with -- in terms of pain and confusion and no sleep and so many tears, I am surprised I didn't flood my home (although I did overload the trash cans with used tissues!), and whatever else this quit threw my way, to honor that choice. Once I accepted the terms, then it was up to me to "Go be it." Simple. Yes. Worthy of great rants *hard*? You bet! In later times, when I had gotten the rant out and I would pause for a breath, I would usually hear the whisper in my ear, So what? What's the price of smoke freedom worth to me? You know what? It has been *worth it all*. Can you feel my pride and my smile? I bet you can. And now I am learning to "Go be it." Boy, am I ever grateful for my choice that I made back on May 25th! How about you?

Yukpa hashi ---------->>>>>>> passing the talking stick
Laughing Moon/Pat/Gaire Solas/Yareakh Tzokheq/budette

Six months, three weeks, one day, 9 hours, 36 minutes and 49 seconds. 4128 cigarettes not smoked, saving $685.39. Life saved: 2 weeks, 8 hours, 0 minutes.