I am Yukpa hashi. I am Cherokee and adopted Chahta and a mess of other things. But this weekend I *became* a kite maker.

Franz, my quit buddy, made a comment at one time to our small quit group
about how quitting smoking had shown him that he had enough courage to try new things in his life. We all agreed we had experienced a similar feeling. This weekend I took my new found courage and went up to the Oregon coast and learned how to make kites. Wow, oh wow.

Quitting smoking is hard, I know that part. One of my kite instructors up there had blown a year long quit and was still smoking. He hacked and hocked and breathed hard and smelled bad the whole weekend. I didn't say much to him, 'cause #1, I think most smokers know that they "should" quit, and besides #2, I'm not a good preacher, but he was a mighty powerful
reminder of why I have chosen to remain smoke free.

It's not important that you know the shape of the kites I am talking about but I made a parafoil, an appliqued Trojan Hata kite (I can hardly wait to fly this one), I hand painted a train of 5 washi paper kites (Helmets and Japanese warriors were the two images I used) and I will finished up a stunt kite here shortly. That's four types of kites in one weekend. (I blew myself away by how industrious I was!) I met a whole new group of folks that I know I will get to know a whole lot better in the future. I hope to convince Jose, my applique instructor, to become my mentor. He was the main gift of this weekend. The point of why I am telling you this is that I am proud of me. Quitting smoking has handed me yet another gift. Before deciding to reclaim my body, I would never have tried to step out of my "smoke-defined" world. Do you know what I mean by "smoke-defined"?

When I smoked, my life was *defined* by where and when I could smoke. My emotions were "handled" by smoking. My life centered around whether or not I had enough cigs to last me through the day and if I didn't, I would panic and knew I had to get to a store pronto, no matter that I might still be in my pajamas. (Ever gone to the drive-up smoke shop with a coat over your flannel pajamas? I have. Sigh.) My life *centered* around my smoking. I use to say I had a right to smoke and I felt rebelliously righteous in saying I would be one of the last smokers on earth. I truly thought I'd never quit, that I couldn't quit and that I'd go to my grave smoking. (I am smiling here at me. How's that for junkie thinking? Aho.) Well, this weekend, I gave "me" another whole new definition. Since I'm not a smoker anymore, my new picture is that of a kite maker. VERY big smile.

Changing my definition, my picture of me, has taken courage, I've had to do homework to retrain the dialogue in my brain, employed lots of deep breathing and gallons of water, it's required a *lot* of patience, it's taken *time*.... and most of all, it's taken ATTITUDE (Whatever it takes to gain my smoke freedom, I am willing to do.). The big payoff for all of that for me is times like this weekend where I get to see a new me emerging out of all of the hard work....

And then there is always this that I get to proudly flash as well <G>:

Eight months, 1 minute and 12 seconds. 4900 cigarettes not smoked, saving $813.54. Life saved: 2 weeks, 3 days, 20 minutes.

Thank you, Mr. T. and Ms. M.... Your unflagging support over these 8 months has helped to insure my quit. You have made an incredible difference in my life. Sister Friends, you gonna help me party? And most of all, I am blessed with the greatest mates, my Quit Group. Hey, my 5/25'ers.... can you believe our meters? We done did eight months...that's 8 of them puppies!!!!!! Hallelujah! I am really proud of all of us. Selma, Franz, Harry, Map and Mark, (and of course, my teacher Frank), you guys are *absolutely* the best. I congratulate you on remaining smoke free with me. (((((((((5/25'ers)))))))))) Onward, Upward and Forward, guys.... the tubs are getting closer all of the time.

Quitting smoking has changed my picture of me. I am replacing my smoking
memories with new, healthier (and *SO* much more fun!!!!!!) memories. I took the money I saved by not smoking and tried a new adventure. And I like it here in this place of smoke freedom a whole lot better because of that adventure. What new thing do you want to try? You know you have the courage now to try it.... So go for it!!

I'm dancing with the wind now with kites I made myself,
Yukpa hashi
Laughing Moon/Pat/Gaire Solas/Yareakh Tzokheq/budette/kite maker (smile)