My name is Yukpa hashi. I am.... lots of things but one thing I am for sure, I am quit. Way back when I started this journey for smoke freedom, I couldn't even imagine reaching this milestone.... it was just dream, a wish, a hope.... but now it's my reality.

My life has been so radically different than what I imagined it would be should I be fortunate enough to get to this place of smoke freedom. Selma, my wonderful and amazing quit sister, wrote the other day that this milestone was coming up. (And yup, my quit family is still together, even after all of this time. We have had marriages, babies, and lots and lots of discussions about you-name-it. We don't talk about smoking so much anymore but we are never far from remembering that is how we began together. We found each other here in AS3 and it was one of the very best things that could have happened to me. Quit families are so important to a successful quit. I truly believe that. But that's another post....) Anyway, SS (Sister Selma) was mentioning this milestone and how she was so excited about it. It was like we were in our first year and reaching this milestone meant we were beginning the downhill slide to OFdom! Well.... we're on another downhill slide, for sure.... except this time it's to our VOFdom. must admit..... I'm pretty excited about that fact as well.

In reaching our milestones along the way, we usually reminisce a bit about our journey to this place. I shared with her that I had read Lorraine's VOF post and Maggie's post... both describing their journeys.... and that they could have been written by me/us! That got me to thinking....

We are all individuals with our own smoking journey; which is the reason no two quits can be exactly the same but there are very similar smoking events that we seem to share.... the most glaring example is that, for the most part, we have all tried to quit many times. It is rare that an individual can quit just like that and walk away. Omigosh, I wish I was that kind but alas, I'm not. SS had lost a long quit, just like me. I think it is one of the reasons we are so determined to make this the last quit. So how do I intend to make this my last quit?

First.... ATTITUDE. I will continue to do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, no matter what that is.... Smoking is not an option. Period. I must tell you that I always gave myself a way out before. I would test the waters, so to speak. Let's see if I can go a day. You know that 'conversation'? And when it got a little rough, I would grab a cigarette faster than you can say 'smoke'. Not this time. There was simply no discussion allowed. I'm gonna continue with my ATTITUDE.

Second.... I am a student of Cog Quitting. I believe in this method because it has given me a true sense of quit comfort. Learning this method made the difference between just hanging on with my fingernails for as long as I could (reactive) and doing something to help myself get farther down the quit road (proactive). I learned to give myself options versus smoking. I will always be grateful to my quit coach, ddsteve. I'm gonna remember my ABC's should I find the need.

Third.... I suffer from (quit) depression. For the longest time, I couldn't/wouldn't believe I needed any help. I had started St. John's Wort from nearly the beginning. I was walking and watching my diet. I was doing all that I could think to do to help myself. But the 'blue place' kept getting deeper and I was having longer stretches of being terribly down. Finally, I was convinced to go see a Pdoc. (I can barely write about this even now. It was such a horrible time for me.) After that visit, I kicked myself all the way home. Just talking to her, I learned that there truly is such a thing as quit depression, that it is a chemical imbalance caused by out of whack neurotransmitters from my abuse of nicotine and that there is help for me. What??? You mean I had been suffering needlessly? And that gritting my teeth trying to make it one more day without (medicinal) help had been unnecessary? Omigosh, I kicked myself again just now! I can't tell you strong enough that if you think you are down more than what you think is acceptable..... GO see your doctor! In the least, a visit to the doc couldn't hurt and will let him be apprised of what is going on with you. I am still on meds today. I am not without hope that I will someday be able to put the meds aside but if not??? I consider it a small price to pay for being smoke-free. Remember, my saying.... 'whatever it takes'? Well.... whatever it takes....

And lastly.... I CHOOSE to remain smoke free. I CHOOSE to live my life smelling the sweet green earth and the air just after a Spring rain. I CHOOSE to be able to climb mountains, both physically and personally without gasping for air or for lack of courage. I CHOOSE to snuggle real close with my grandsons. I CHOOSE to spend my time as I wish.... to watch a movie straight through, to savor a meal, to do whatever without that constant tension reminding me that I needed my next fix. I CHOOSE smoke freedom.

I'm on the downhill slide now....
Yukpa hashi aka SP,
DOF
www.talkingstick.net
And now.... what SS and I (and our quit brothers) are excited about:

Two years, nine months, 7 hours, 41 minutes and 15 seconds. 20146 cigarettes not smoked, saving $3,304.15. Life saved: 9 weeks, 6 days, 22 hours, 50 minutes.

Note the number of cigs not smoked!!! How awesome. You better believe my lungs are lovin' me! HUGE smile.