I am Yukpa hashi. I am 1 year and 11 months smoke-free today. I don't know if I can describe my feelings of how it feels to be where I am today but I'd sure like to try.

I began a journey in May, 1998 that has altered my life for all time. I feel what began back then with a wish and a prayer and a yearning to be smoke-free, became for me a feeling like I had gained the absolute breath of life in the doing.

This breath of life didn't just cover the *fact* that I can take a very deep breath for the very first time in years. Nor does it just cover the *fact* that I can laugh out loud and not have it end up in a coughing spasm. Nor does it just mean that my chest doesn't hurt anymore. All of these things are true and wonderfully so. But I think this 'breath of life' also means that I am finally dealing with life straight up.... and with clarity. It's like I walked out of a blue haze. I had forgotten life was so .... colorful!

Oh, it wasn't easy.... If anyone steps up to you and tells you that quitting this insidious addiction was easy for them.... shake his or her hand... 'cause they were truly blessed if they got through the quitting process in that way. For me though, I sometimes struggled mightily. I was not prepared for the changes that would happen to me as I moved through this process of getting free. I got overwhelmed sometimes by it all.... but I held true. And today, I am really grateful I did.

I was blessed by finding a different way to quit smoking called Cog Quitting, taught to me by ddsteve. And I was surrounded by like souls who were all aimed in the same direction. The day I found AS3, I knew I had a much better shot at making it 'this time'. There was so much information to be learned here! I also found my quit family, the 5/25'ers.... and now the 2nd Gen'ers in AS3. (Hey, ladies.... you about ready for *THE* splash? HUGE smile. Well done on your 11 months and now it's into countdown mode.) What a gift they all are to me.

The last thing I can think of that 'breath of life' means to me is this feeling of self-assurance that I can do stuff now that I never thought possible before. I found it was really true.... that if I could quit smoking, I could do anything. What that feeling has transpired are events (such as having the breath to climb straight up a hill just to sit under an ages old Cypress tree and collect 9 stones.... Wow!) that remain totally amazing to me.

Today, I am feeling the 'breath of life' ... and that has come from my smoke freedom. What a great place to be! Not bad for what started out with a wish and a prayer and a yearning.... Smile. Keep on keeping on....

Many Blessings. Aho.

Yukpa hashi
Laughing Moon/Pat/Budette
www.talkingstick.net