Benefits
and Honesty
This
set of posts begins to describe what it took for me to remain smoke
free. In the beginning, I was driven by a very strong desire to quit
smoking. I kept walking forward out of sheer determination. But eventually
I ran out of that forceful energy. I no longer needed it because I
had settled into my quit. I was also experiencing quit depression.
And the changes in my attitude were more profound. Some of the changes
were not wonderful and dealing with them straight up, without the
blue haze of a cigarette in my hand, sometimes was more difficult
than I had thought it would be. I was learning how to be honest with
my self, and consequently with my world, for what it seemed like the
first time in my adult life.
I can
remember years ago someone telling me that quitting smoking was just
a matter of putting down the cigarettes and not smoking anymore. Wouldn’t
that be wonderful if it were true? But it’s not true. I have learned
with this quit that my whole life would change in this process. And
I am profoundly grateful for those changes too. I feel like I am a
more complete person now who deals with life straight up and then
who reaps the benefits from that, which to me are considerable.
